Brad, thank you for taking the time to post this. It’s just what I needed to know and be reminded of on a Saturday morning.
I’ve been feeling really down for months, and although the reasons: welcoming our third, beautiful baby girl into the world last year (no sleep), knee surgery (no exercise) a job I’ve outgrown long ago ( little mental stimulation) and while being stuck with all of these causal factors for the foreseeable future made sense, the brain would still take me down dark paths. Late 40s male with his best days behind him, etc.
the same brain that see the rut clearly , can’t find my way out of it at times and often compounds issues.
Glad to know I’m not alone. We get through together. I’ll see the sunshine again, and commit to persevere until I do.
The loneliness is the part of anxiety and depression that is often misunderstood. You know intellectually that you are experiencing something that millions have experienced before you and are currently experiencing, but when you’re in the thick of it, it feels like you’re the only person in the world feeling the way you are right now. You look around at everyone else and think to yourself that it’s unfair that their lives look so perfect, but you’re suffering. Why can’t you get past this anxiety? Why are you the one cursed with this?
It is only through ACT that I’ve finally started to see some sunlight after three years of struggle. For all of you out there going through it, hang in there. You are not alone.
I had an eerily similar experience to yours as far as anxiety and panic really hitting me hard from seemingly out of nowhere. I don't know why it happened how/when it did - if it was just a result of pushing myself too hard physically in the middle of a hot summer, some personal stresses, genetics, normal aging, or what. Probably an accumulation of all of it. But suddenly I was getting waves of panic doing normal stuff like watching TV on the couch with my wife, participating in work meetings, going to movies/concerts, or even getting in bed. It sucked!
I tried a bunch of stuff - mediation, breathing exercises, programs like Unwinding Anxiety and DARE, education about the science of it. I will say, the thing that ultimately made me feel normal again was medication. I was very reluctant to start it because of the perceived stigma and the fact I was afraid it would make me feel like a zombie or something, or have crazy side effects, but in reality it just made me feel like myself again.
Posting this just because your longer post about anxiety mentioned medication as one of the tools in the tool box and made me feel more open to it. Very grateful for that.
Thanks for sharing, great insights and something that’s really hard to see or be aware of when you are both in it and of it. Adding some distance and perspective is hard, it’s hard to think things can be any other way, especially when the mind only reinforces evidence of the negative thoughts and discredits all the positive ones.
This is a powerful description of how to work through the darkest of times & some strategies I used myself. Mine was medication-induced & very frightening (& PTSD from the experience). After recovery, I had these same thoughts when writing about it- will writing & sub-stacking & re-reading pull me back? The main strategy I also used when in the storm (apart from trying all the treatments) was to remind myself that I am not my brain - the thoughts are temporary & they will come & go- I’m still here.
“Acceptance isn’t passive resignation—it’s acknowledging what’s happening, taking skillful action, and letting it move through you.”
I love this point. As a mental health professional, I have this conversation often. Acceptance isn’t throwing up our hands and saying “oh, well!” It’s letting go of the resistance to what we are feeling and experiencing. It’s acknowledging our pain and letting ourselves feel it without denial or stuffing it down.
I myself have been dealing with a lot of ruckus for the last 4-5 years.
Being vulnerable about your shortcomings is quite difficult. Especially if one is going through some sort of anxiety, depression and other kind of things where they are in low phase mentally- it seems the world is closing in on them and the time seems not to pass quickly but it feels someone has frozen the time. When anyone is going through the drudgery it feels like it will go on forever and this won't get better. This is in itself just a projection/construct of our mind and not a reality.
Rightly said brother it really sucks when one is going through these times. KEEP SHOWING UP is quite a cliche advice but works like the magic pill and can do wonders.
It is the same as Admiral William H. McRaven- If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. It doesn't improve all of the life but it is all about setting the tone or one can call it is to roll the dice and set the momentum. w/o showing up nothing gets done & w/o actions nothing gets changed, w/o nothing changing we keep ourselves in a constant state of puddle of standing water. It is all about as Bruce Lee said- Be Like Water, just find a small thing to do & keep adding on and keep rolling the dice to be in a constant flux of momentum. Constant flux of momentum can change life in a quick manner we can't even imagine.
I have read all of your & Steve's book except the recent book. It has helped a lot reframing things and view it from different set of view points.
Thank you! This kind of vulnerability, especially from someone with a platform like yours, really helps stop the stigma. I appreciate your work so much!
Brad, thank you for taking the time to post this. It’s just what I needed to know and be reminded of on a Saturday morning.
I’ve been feeling really down for months, and although the reasons: welcoming our third, beautiful baby girl into the world last year (no sleep), knee surgery (no exercise) a job I’ve outgrown long ago ( little mental stimulation) and while being stuck with all of these causal factors for the foreseeable future made sense, the brain would still take me down dark paths. Late 40s male with his best days behind him, etc.
the same brain that see the rut clearly , can’t find my way out of it at times and often compounds issues.
Glad to know I’m not alone. We get through together. I’ll see the sunshine again, and commit to persevere until I do.
The loneliness is the part of anxiety and depression that is often misunderstood. You know intellectually that you are experiencing something that millions have experienced before you and are currently experiencing, but when you’re in the thick of it, it feels like you’re the only person in the world feeling the way you are right now. You look around at everyone else and think to yourself that it’s unfair that their lives look so perfect, but you’re suffering. Why can’t you get past this anxiety? Why are you the one cursed with this?
It is only through ACT that I’ve finally started to see some sunlight after three years of struggle. For all of you out there going through it, hang in there. You are not alone.
I had an eerily similar experience to yours as far as anxiety and panic really hitting me hard from seemingly out of nowhere. I don't know why it happened how/when it did - if it was just a result of pushing myself too hard physically in the middle of a hot summer, some personal stresses, genetics, normal aging, or what. Probably an accumulation of all of it. But suddenly I was getting waves of panic doing normal stuff like watching TV on the couch with my wife, participating in work meetings, going to movies/concerts, or even getting in bed. It sucked!
I tried a bunch of stuff - mediation, breathing exercises, programs like Unwinding Anxiety and DARE, education about the science of it. I will say, the thing that ultimately made me feel normal again was medication. I was very reluctant to start it because of the perceived stigma and the fact I was afraid it would make me feel like a zombie or something, or have crazy side effects, but in reality it just made me feel like myself again.
Posting this just because your longer post about anxiety mentioned medication as one of the tools in the tool box and made me feel more open to it. Very grateful for that.
Thanks for sharing, great insights and something that’s really hard to see or be aware of when you are both in it and of it. Adding some distance and perspective is hard, it’s hard to think things can be any other way, especially when the mind only reinforces evidence of the negative thoughts and discredits all the positive ones.
This is a powerful description of how to work through the darkest of times & some strategies I used myself. Mine was medication-induced & very frightening (& PTSD from the experience). After recovery, I had these same thoughts when writing about it- will writing & sub-stacking & re-reading pull me back? The main strategy I also used when in the storm (apart from trying all the treatments) was to remind myself that I am not my brain - the thoughts are temporary & they will come & go- I’m still here.
“Acceptance isn’t passive resignation—it’s acknowledging what’s happening, taking skillful action, and letting it move through you.”
I love this point. As a mental health professional, I have this conversation often. Acceptance isn’t throwing up our hands and saying “oh, well!” It’s letting go of the resistance to what we are feeling and experiencing. It’s acknowledging our pain and letting ourselves feel it without denial or stuffing it down.
Thanks for sharing your story, Brad.
I myself have been dealing with a lot of ruckus for the last 4-5 years.
Being vulnerable about your shortcomings is quite difficult. Especially if one is going through some sort of anxiety, depression and other kind of things where they are in low phase mentally- it seems the world is closing in on them and the time seems not to pass quickly but it feels someone has frozen the time. When anyone is going through the drudgery it feels like it will go on forever and this won't get better. This is in itself just a projection/construct of our mind and not a reality.
Rightly said brother it really sucks when one is going through these times. KEEP SHOWING UP is quite a cliche advice but works like the magic pill and can do wonders.
It is the same as Admiral William H. McRaven- If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. It doesn't improve all of the life but it is all about setting the tone or one can call it is to roll the dice and set the momentum. w/o showing up nothing gets done & w/o actions nothing gets changed, w/o nothing changing we keep ourselves in a constant state of puddle of standing water. It is all about as Bruce Lee said- Be Like Water, just find a small thing to do & keep adding on and keep rolling the dice to be in a constant flux of momentum. Constant flux of momentum can change life in a quick manner we can't even imagine.
I have read all of your & Steve's book except the recent book. It has helped a lot reframing things and view it from different set of view points.
Thank you! This kind of vulnerability, especially from someone with a platform like yours, really helps stop the stigma. I appreciate your work so much!
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. It's not an easy thing to reflect on, no matter how far along you are in your healing journey.
I hope this piece helps anyone going through a similar experience, feel less alone.
Solidarity in the OCD journey!
Who just finished a book run in a limited edition about his mental health journey, worth a look.
Thank you Brad. There is an author, JP Flintoff, a journalist as well from the UK