"How I feel in the moment doesn't determine how this will go" — I'm keeping that one for the 5 a.m. days, Brad! And 25 publishers and 20 years to the list is the most reassuring paragraph I've read this month. Thank you for showing up here every week.
This is a nice one, Brad! I’ve been thinking a lot about how we can be so devoted to something that we also show up, even when it absolutely sucks. I see a strong connection to feelings of cost (expectancy value cost theory) and when the identity shifts so that you realize you’re just the person who shows up when it’s hard, the cost of showing up is so much lower than if your identity was outcome oriented (aka “I am the Valedictorian!”). I think that’s what helped me in my life. And as you’ve written about, when the process becomes the thing you protect and dedicate too, outcomes follow.
so well said and I 100 percent agree. Identifying with the process and as being someone who shows up and is consistent beats identifying with an outcome any day. The latter is fragile, the former is resilient and robust!
This is so good. Of all your writing, maybe the passage I most return to is "Only doing the thing is doing the thing." I'm trying to teach my boys to show up and give themselves a chance at feeling good far earlier than I learned it.
The part I keep turning over is your feeling line: “How I feel in the moment doesn’t determine how this will go.” For a single morning, I agree. Over years, I learned it cuts the other way too. Driving to clients was simply part of it, and had been for years. The business was working, but it no longer felt fulfilling. It had become the property of a version of me who set it up and then kept going, because there was never a single day on which going was the wrong thing to do. Showing up is the skill you describe. Asking now and then what I am showing up for is the one I had to learn separately.
Consistency is so much easier when you actually enjoy the process. It reminds of another one of your pieces on the impact of fun in consistency. I've been weightlifting for 11+ years, hitting the gym 4x a week and I can do this because I enjoy the workouts so much. The same cannot be said when I recently had to study for an exam. It was a struggle. Until I started finding ways to add play into it. Then my whole relationship to the activity shifted dramatically, and I was happy to show up day after day.
This is the way I look at being a parent. If I want that relationship later on in life, I gotta show up now. It's hard. I'm tired, overstimulated, etc. But I gotta be there so that they learn to trust me and know that in a hard or tough moment I'll be around.
Same for writing too. If you want to get published, the very first thing you have to do is open that document and type as many days as you can.
Thank you for cultivating and sharing your ideas and thoughtful wordsmithing.
Your article brought to mind the following passage from Haruki Murakami's "What I talk about when I talk about running":
> Once, I interviewed the Olympic runner Toshihiko Seko [...]. I asked him, "Does a runner at your level ever feel like you'd rather not run today, like you don't want to run and would rather just sleep in?" He stared at me and then, in a voice that made it abundantly clear how stupid he thought the question was, replied, "Of course. All the time!"
"How I feel in the moment doesn't determine how this will go" — I'm keeping that one for the 5 a.m. days, Brad! And 25 publishers and 20 years to the list is the most reassuring paragraph I've read this month. Thank you for showing up here every week.
Thank you for being here and reading. (And good luck on those early mornings. They get easier but they never get easy!
Ha, thank you, Brad! “They get easier but they never get easy” is the honest version, and somehow that helps more than being told it gets easy!
This is a nice one, Brad! I’ve been thinking a lot about how we can be so devoted to something that we also show up, even when it absolutely sucks. I see a strong connection to feelings of cost (expectancy value cost theory) and when the identity shifts so that you realize you’re just the person who shows up when it’s hard, the cost of showing up is so much lower than if your identity was outcome oriented (aka “I am the Valedictorian!”). I think that’s what helped me in my life. And as you’ve written about, when the process becomes the thing you protect and dedicate too, outcomes follow.
so well said and I 100 percent agree. Identifying with the process and as being someone who shows up and is consistent beats identifying with an outcome any day. The latter is fragile, the former is resilient and robust!
Showing up for you with a comment.
Gotta lay the bricks!!!
It's the only way. Great to see you here Kyle!
Big fan of your work!
just shot you a DM!
When all else fails: coffee ☕️
This is so good. Of all your writing, maybe the passage I most return to is "Only doing the thing is doing the thing." I'm trying to teach my boys to show up and give themselves a chance at feeling good far earlier than I learned it.
Thanks, Bill! Good luck with your boys.
Just listenes the recent Excellence Actually episode that touches on a bunch of the same points.
Great reminders
Brad, thank you for doing the work and showing up for us
Thank you for being here and reading!
Haven’t even read the article yet but from the title, I love it
The part I keep turning over is your feeling line: “How I feel in the moment doesn’t determine how this will go.” For a single morning, I agree. Over years, I learned it cuts the other way too. Driving to clients was simply part of it, and had been for years. The business was working, but it no longer felt fulfilling. It had become the property of a version of me who set it up and then kept going, because there was never a single day on which going was the wrong thing to do. Showing up is the skill you describe. Asking now and then what I am showing up for is the one I had to learn separately.
Consistency is so much easier when you actually enjoy the process. It reminds of another one of your pieces on the impact of fun in consistency. I've been weightlifting for 11+ years, hitting the gym 4x a week and I can do this because I enjoy the workouts so much. The same cannot be said when I recently had to study for an exam. It was a struggle. Until I started finding ways to add play into it. Then my whole relationship to the activity shifted dramatically, and I was happy to show up day after day.
This is the way I look at being a parent. If I want that relationship later on in life, I gotta show up now. It's hard. I'm tired, overstimulated, etc. But I gotta be there so that they learn to trust me and know that in a hard or tough moment I'll be around.
Same for writing too. If you want to get published, the very first thing you have to do is open that document and type as many days as you can.
Dear Brad,
Thank you for cultivating and sharing your ideas and thoughtful wordsmithing.
Your article brought to mind the following passage from Haruki Murakami's "What I talk about when I talk about running":
> Once, I interviewed the Olympic runner Toshihiko Seko [...]. I asked him, "Does a runner at your level ever feel like you'd rather not run today, like you don't want to run and would rather just sleep in?" He stared at me and then, in a voice that made it abundantly clear how stupid he thought the question was, replied, "Of course. All the time!"
Here's to showing up.