Great article. I coached for a decade and then became an AD. One of my biggest observations my first year out of coaching was how much time I (and by proxy the players) spent on things that didn't matter. Some things we were just doing it to feel like we were working hard. We probably would have been better with more balance. I've watched too many talented coaches burn out not because they lacked drive, but because they treated every support structure (sleep, marriage, friendships outside the gym) as optional. The ones who sustain it aren't softer; they've just figured out, to use one of your examples, how to have more rooms in their house.
The "pipe" metaphor lands. I spent a lot of years worshipping the force itself - the drive, the pressure, the refusal to quit - and confusing that with strength. The inconvenient truth is that drive without containment eventually turns into collateral damage. Body, relationships, judgment, all of it starts paying the bill.
I still don't fully trust the modern obsession with "balance," because some seasons really do require imbalance. But this feels like the better frame: not less fire, better plumbing. The work is learning which constraints protect the mission instead of softening it.
That's a harder sell than grind culture, but probably a truer one.
Well said. Top performers use rest and mindfulness routines. The anecdote of Koby and Jordan using the breathing / mindfulness coach is revealing. Shaq used him too.
This is a great piece, Brad. I spent 20 years working a “day job” while chasing an elusive dream to become the next big country music star. I almost ruined my marriage and family in n my pursuit of stardom.
For people who are wired for greatness, there is a point when enough is enough. For me, it came with age and the pandemic. I had to finally ask myself, “Is this drive to excellence worth losing my life over?” When the answer was a resounding, “No!” I stepped back and refocused. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done while also being the best thing I’ve ever done.
I coach high performers every day and deeply appreciate the imagery of a pipe. So accessible and understandable. Looking forward to integrating your perspective into my sessions.
Thank you for this. The question for every one of us is this: when we look back on our lives what will we have valued? For me, I want to be asking if I loved well. From a former entrepreneur and CEO who turned into a mindfulness teacher.
Great article. I coached for a decade and then became an AD. One of my biggest observations my first year out of coaching was how much time I (and by proxy the players) spent on things that didn't matter. Some things we were just doing it to feel like we were working hard. We probably would have been better with more balance. I've watched too many talented coaches burn out not because they lacked drive, but because they treated every support structure (sleep, marriage, friendships outside the gym) as optional. The ones who sustain it aren't softer; they've just figured out, to use one of your examples, how to have more rooms in their house.
Chase your dreams with your whole heart, but also don't cling to attachments and expectations.
Basically be a motivated buddhist with big dreams 🤙🏼
This was great.
The "pipe" metaphor lands. I spent a lot of years worshipping the force itself - the drive, the pressure, the refusal to quit - and confusing that with strength. The inconvenient truth is that drive without containment eventually turns into collateral damage. Body, relationships, judgment, all of it starts paying the bill.
I still don't fully trust the modern obsession with "balance," because some seasons really do require imbalance. But this feels like the better frame: not less fire, better plumbing. The work is learning which constraints protect the mission instead of softening it.
That's a harder sell than grind culture, but probably a truer one.
Well said. Top performers use rest and mindfulness routines. The anecdote of Koby and Jordan using the breathing / mindfulness coach is revealing. Shaq used him too.
i love this image 😮💨
This is a great piece, Brad. I spent 20 years working a “day job” while chasing an elusive dream to become the next big country music star. I almost ruined my marriage and family in n my pursuit of stardom.
For people who are wired for greatness, there is a point when enough is enough. For me, it came with age and the pandemic. I had to finally ask myself, “Is this drive to excellence worth losing my life over?” When the answer was a resounding, “No!” I stepped back and refocused. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done while also being the best thing I’ve ever done.
I coach high performers every day and deeply appreciate the imagery of a pipe. So accessible and understandable. Looking forward to integrating your perspective into my sessions.
Thank you for this. The question for every one of us is this: when we look back on our lives what will we have valued? For me, I want to be asking if I loved well. From a former entrepreneur and CEO who turned into a mindfulness teacher.